My Books.

Wine Sex and Suicide my near death divorce

A heartbreakingly raw, day-to-day journal showing the depths of despair of an abandoned wife who battles the conflicting desires to numb the pain while wanting to move on and live a peaceful life with meaning and purpose. 

For 17 years, Patty Hayes saw her identity as her husband’s wife. When the marriage ended abruptly, she spiraled into an abysmal darkness. Splashed with her intimate thoughts, her day-to-day struggle paints a picture of a woman disconnected from her true self and illustrates the dangerous after shocks of being a dependent spouse. 

Wine, Sex and Suicide – my near death divorce takes us on a colorful journey from a small village in Romania where Patty volunteered at an orphanage for her first Christmas alone, to dive bars and dance clubs in Hollywood where she went on the prowl seeking sexual validation from young men, to the stark clinical backdrop of the psychiatric hospital where she made a friend, and ultimately to her decision to leave the city she’d known for 20 years and move to a small town to start over.

Laced with humor, Patty’s story will speak to those who’ve ever felt broken and lost. Her determination to overcome the gripping addictions will give hope to others who may be going through the dark night of the soul that it is possible to transcend the pain and find purpose.

"Brava to Patty Blue Hayes for having the strength and courage topen a heartfelt, riveting, and unflinchingly honest account of her divorce andsubsequent downward spiral. Packed with insights and emotionaldiscoveries, Wine, Sex and Suicide - My Near Death Divorce, is a must-read foranyone who has struggled to recover from a life-jolting setback."
- Franz Wisner, NY Times bestselling author of Honeymoon with MyBrother and How the World Makes Love

My Heart Is Broken. Now What?: 12 Practices To Heal The Emotional Pain Of Being Abandoned By The One You Love

This is an easy to follow guide of 12 practices that I gathered up along the way of my very bumpy path of healing from heartbreak. 

Simple and comforting to read, I offer suggestions for implementing different thoughts and actions to ease the heavy weight of a broken heart.

The practices include: Asking for Support (and why some people won't be there when you need them the most), Extreme Self Care, Gratitude and Perspective (my favorite use for a magnifying glass), Using a Filter, Meditation and Mindfulness, Feel - Express & Release, Change Your Environment, Find a Super Hero, Connect with Your Soul Self, The Mirror Technique, Volunteering.

"Patty is an inspirational writer. I adore her brave heart. She endured her broken heart, gathered the pieces and reglued them in gold for you and I to share and shine in her brilliance. This book is a step by step guide which will help you in your journey each time your heart is chipped or shattered. As a soul coach myself I find it easy to refer to Patty's book as a guideline for when someone shows up at the Ventura Healing Center with a broken heart. Thanks Patty for heartfully arranging the process in sequential steps."
- Keya Murthy, Award-Winning author of Landing on the Lap of Buddha: Simple Steps to Stop Suffering

Love Elephants Don’t Ride Them: How to Plan, Prep & Pack for Thailand

From topics including vaccinations, travel insurance, visa requirements, embassy contacts and food safety, you'll find answers and over 100 links to useful websites, apps and articles.

+ What if you get a stingray injury?
+ Do you have food allergies?
+ Are you familiar with the common scams?
+ Do you know the Thai etiquette regarding monks, buddhas and handshakes?
+ Mental health condition? Find resources here.
+ Weird laws you might not be aware of.
+ Can you vape or smoke pot in Thailand?
+ Sexual health tips and resources.
+ 10 mosquito prevention tips.
+ How to keep cool sleeping in the heat!

Most importantly, this book was created to inform you on the pervasive shady, unethical and often abusive practices within the elephant tourism industry in Thailand. I thought I did thorough research on finding an ethical elephant sanctuary where I planned to volunteer for a month. What I discovered was nothing more than a greedy owner disguising unethical practices that went against the best practices for elephant welfare.

Please use this criteria to measure the elephant tourism business you are considering during your visit to Thailand.

Ideally:

- Human observation only - No riding, feeding or bathing - Not on a timed schedule for tourists - Free roaming, grazing, feeding, exploring daily, 6-12 miles - 20 hours of unrestricted movement - 4 hours of sleep or rest (laying down or standing) - Protective contact between keeper and elephant - Veterinarian care available to the elephants - No chains, No bullhook

If you love elephants and are planning a trip to Thailand, please educate yourself about the unethical and often deceptive practices of many elephant sanctuaries/havens/retirement homes.Help spread the word about the best practices for elephant welfare, mahout and tourist safety.

“Patty does a great job introducing travelers to some of the ethical tourism core issues facing them in travel, namely the country's growing elephant tourism industry. It's tougher than ever to find ethical elephant encounters, and with her guide to planning your trip she gives you you a good baseline knowledge. You'll know the key warning signs to look for in an elephant encounter, as well as a lot of other relevant information to make your Thailand trip successful.” Shannon O’Donnell ~ Award Winning Travel Blog, A Little Adrift

How To Change Your Life With Easy Mindfulness Micro Habits; Declutter Your Mind, Stop Negative Thinking and Empower Yourself.

WHAT IF YOU COULD MAKE SIGNIFICANT, POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE WITHOUT CHANGING ANY PHYSICAL HABIT OR ROUTINE?

How to Change Your Life With Easy Mindfulness Micro Habits puts the power of personal transformation right where it belongs, in your mind. By adopting simple, micro mindfulness habits, you can shift your thinking and behavior in profound ways that can transform your life.

• This book taps an overlooked resource for personal growth in our daily routines. It offers an innovative take on how even the most mundane activities can become powerful tools for personal empowerment, stress reduction, and building confidence.

• Imagine using the time spent washing dishes or folding laundry to master your mind, stop negative thinking, develop greater self-compassion and even cultivate resilience and a positive growth mindset.

The Power of Mindful Micro Habits

At its core, mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment, aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment.

• Consider the act of vacuuming. It's a simple task that doesn’t require any thought. So why not use that time to generate thoughts that are fulfilling and potentially life-changing?

Research shows that mindfulness practices can lead to significant improvements in our mental health, including reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, improved focus, and increased overall well-being.

Personal Development for the Busy Person

Finding time for self-improvement can feel impossible. But what if you didn’t need extra time? What if the time you already spend on mindless daily activities could be repurposed for your growth?

• This book offers a practical solution: integrating personal development into the tasks you’re already doing. No extra time commitment needed.

The Science Behind It

Studies in neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections, show that our brains are constantly changing in response to our experiences.

• By intentionally focusing on affirmative thoughts during routine tasks, you can actively shape your brain and enrich your mental landscape.

The concept of "habit stacking," popularized by James Clear in his book "Atomic Habits," suggests that linking new habits to existing routines can increase the likelihood of success.

• By stacking mindfulness, cognitive exercises, and positive affirmations onto tasks you already perform, you’re more likely to maintain these practices consistently.